Written in 1997.
“You think you can hide from us? That is your folly. Day in and day out you try to escape us, but there is no use. We are everywhere, not one is free from our influence. When you are young, you try to run from us…partly succeeding, but only within your own mind. You believe you are free because you would like to believe you are free. You exist in an illusion if you think you are ever truly alone.
“Yes, you duck into dark corners, you peer over your shoulder, you see no one, merely because you overlook us. Accustomed to us, perhaps. Used to forgetting our presence, to the point you think us no longer there, no longer powerful. From the time you are born, you are instilled with our teachings, forced to recognize our will. True, you seldom accept it, seldom succumb, but it is to your own demise that you do so. Ignorance is bliss–but that is a sad recompense for our benefits. The choice, however, is yours. We cannot force you to bend to our will, to understand our views, to do things our way, but we will try. We are determined, dedicated in our purpose, an unrelenting force. Bothersome at times, are we not?
“There is much humor in your actions…if futility can be considered humorous. The sun rises, already have you removed us far from yourself. Slowly, we creep, closer to your inmost being. The sun at its zenith grants us but a moment of every day, a mere moment when we are one with you. But a minute later, and already you have begun again to escape our influence. As the sun does set, the distance between you and us increases, ponderously, but enough to sate your desire for freedom. When below the horizon, we are completely forgotten. To your eyes, gone…but you know, oh yes, you know! We are still here even then, still watching, following, seeing all. Yes, all! Now a gentleman, now a gambler; a working girl, here, a professional there! But how could we see all this? You block us out, do you not?
“The hours you spend, laughable to say the least. You talk, to yourself (but mind you, not alone), persuading, speaking, but never thinking. Oh, pity the man that needs converse with himself! And the woman, she who does not speak her thoughts, but rather her actions! How can this be? What have you done? No longer do you stop, no time. Important enough to worry, but not so to cause pause. And still, important enough to refuse ignorance–how can you escape it? Forever it remains…but later, not now. Not now? But the time has already come! You cannot see because you close your eyes, but we do not. We see. We know.
“You think, perhaps, there are differences? Undoubtedly, surfaces are never the same, always changing, but did you ever look? No, why bother? You see a difference: the outline, surely, it is not the same. See here, there…a myriad of incongruencies. Not the same, no, no, impossible. Impossible…or unwanted? Ah, yes: herein the question lies.
“But, why? Why must this be so? A rut…an accepted path? Lack the energy to change? The energy or the intelligence? Do you know what it is that you do? Even if you do not, we do, and that you do know. ‘Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The shadow knows.’ You admit it, but try not to live with it. Try if you must, but this is a warning. We are not here for our own benefit. We did not create ourselves…do not try to deceive: your hand was thoroughly covered by the inkiness from whence we came. And it still is.”
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